What a beautifully written article Anthony. I am probably an atypical commenter here. I am a 71 year old conservative woman married to a man. But during the last 8 or so years, my business partner, friends, children and other relatives have decided that their “politics” were more important. More than classifying what I feel to my political or religious beliefs, I feel it is just plain common sense. I have no problem with who someone “loves”. I have a problem with exposing children to sex and making life altering changes to them. I questioned the Covid vaccine which I ended up getting so I could see my new grandson. Why was a criminal like George Floyd being lauded as some kind of hero? Why are so many young people anti semantic? Stand your ground. We all are entitled to our inalienable rights and in the end, you will not be alone. Those are not “your people”.
This post cut me like a knife. I’m a gay moderate/leans conservative in Austin and I’ve recently been distancing myself (or found myself distanced by) from some of my more progressive friends. I used to be part of a regular dinner group but left after 1) one member sent me several heated messages over a NYTimes op-ed I shared 2) another member said I don’t care about gay Christians when I questioned the wisdom of a church hosting a drag show and 3) another member said I was engaging in censorship when I raised concerns about a church board member posting things like “Political violence is the most American of all values” after the first attempted Trump assassination.
Welcome to the last decade, brother. It’s what I call, Mean Girls or “You can’t sit with us” politick. It’s based on moral grandstanding and cliquish exclusion.
I always had friends in both ideological camps and as a Jew the post 10/7 reaction from those two groups was stunning. I realized how empty superficial and worthless my left leaning friends were. This sounds dramatic but I also realized how dangerous they are. I cut a ton of people loose and was pretty merciless in my approach. The funny thing is I don't miss them. I don't think about them, they were really quite out of sight out of mind. I didn't realize how superficial a lot of those relationships were and I didn't realize that I didn't actually have a very good understanding of how to differentiate between a quality relationship and one that wasn't really built on very much substance.
I’m a secular , politically center left Jew and the Oct 7th attacks and downright ebullient reaction likewise convinced me that the Left, if ever empowered, could likewise be just as dangerous as the Far Right. The horse shoe theory of politics is a very real thing.
I'm not convinced that the far-right still exists in the United States. Due to my unusual hobby I have found myself in some extremely right-wing circles, in the belly of the so-called beast of the "Christian nationalist" movement which doesn't really exist but I'm fairly close to the inner circles of some of the central figures in this manufactured boogeyman called Christian nationalism. Not only do these people genuinely love Jews they're just very nice people. In fact I think they're too nice. Some of the people in my world are members of allegedly right wing groups like the Proud Boys. I'm not getting a whiff of dangerous racism. In fact one of our proud boys is Asian. The main proud boy out here who I suspect is in some kind of leadership role is just a very quality young man. He and his wife went out of their way to console me after 10/7 and to express how outraged they were as they watched the atrocities play out on TikTok - they bore witness for us. I came into the circles with a lot of the ridiculous programming that perhaps there would be some underbelly of dangerous white hate. None of it is true. I am so much more extreme than any of these so-called extremists. I think the way they have been besmirched is one of the greatest scams in US history.
Wow. No disrespect intended but you're either a troll, posing as some sort of quasi/former "progressive who has now seen the light" or you're living in some bizarre alternative reality. You REALLY believe the far-right nor Christian Nationalism doesn't exist in the US? It's telling that you apparently tipped your hand when you referred to "one of OUR proud boys" and how the "main proud boy out here"---where ARE YOU anyway?---"is just a quality young man."
So I guess the white supremacists and KKK thugs carrying torches clearly inspired by Nazi Brownshirts, loudly chanting "JEWS WILL NOT REPLACE US!" was "fake news" or was it just that they were "too nice" and just cosplaying for the fun of it, or simply woefully misunderstood by those mean, intolerant "leftists." Do you agree with the serial rapist and convicted felon---who has spewed a very long list of vile anti-Jewish comments over the years---that these were "very fine people" or will you just ignore this question?
Look. I come from a very conservative community and family. Among the most conservative members of that community you will find that anti-Jewish views are deeply embedded in the worldview of these folks. Yet, some of the more religious ones are living with constant cognitive dissonance, as they really dislike and resent Jews, but are acutely aware that their lord, Jesus Christ, was a Jew and that it's impossible to fully separate Judaism from Christianity. They bounce back and forth in unpredictable ways, hating "the Jews" but "loving" Israel and "good Jews" who are invariably political conservatives and TrumpSuckers.
But, a large reason why this "quality young man" who "is in some kind of leadership role" in this group of vile, violent vandals with real fears about their own masculinity and that you claim isn't part of the right-wing---which you also insist doesn't really exist---is because they, like many Christian Nationalists and White Supremacists---simply HATE "The Muslims" and "The Arabs" more than they hate "The Jews." And a lot of them have been pretty open about this, with some of the more vicious ones being open enough to admit that "after we get rid of the Arab and Muslim Terrorists we'll go after the Jews who control the media and Hollywood and government and the liberal colleges and the banks..."
If you REALLY believe that these people don't exist, and you allow yourself to be taken in by their surface "friendliness" you're not paying very close attention to reality. I'm quite certain that there must have been, in the Germany of the 1930's, some Jews who had found what seemed like warmth and acceptance from enthusiastic Hitler supporters and allowed those exceedingly rare experiences to blind them to the reality unfolding around them.
Yes, unfortunately, there IS anti-Semitism in some number of "leftists" but painting anyone who disagrees with the current government in Israel and their specific policy choices as "anti-Jewish" is both inaccurate and shamefully mendacious. Would that apply to the many Jewish students---and citizens of Israel---who oppose the current government and policies of Israel as well?
Making excuses, or rationalizations for extremist right-wingers is dangerous and deceptive. And denying that they even exist is absolutely delusional; in fact, most of THEM would deny that and even take great offense at you making such a ridiculous claim.
Despite the current state of things, I am confident that We The Majority of Americans, who see Trump and his most rabid, violent, hateful followers for what they clearly are, will stop him and his neo-Nazi co-president Musk, before they can destroy what is fundamentally a very good and decent nation---the United States of America. I would hope that even those who consider themselves true conservatives or "right leaning" will be cognizant enough and realistic enough to be a part of this growing Majority Coalition, dedicated to the protection, preservation and defense of our Constitutional Republic and the practice of Democracy.
Got to be honest I gave that a skim and didn't read it deeply but I will shoot back a few comments - The people who marched in Charlottesville chanting Jews will not replace us have a point. Great replacement theory is no longer a conspiracy theory, Democrat operatives including Jews like Chuck Schumer have openly said that that is their plan. As for some communist little faggot like you throwing "Jewish voices for Palestine" groups around as cover for the rampant galloping anti-Semitism that pretty much characterizes 100% of the DNC in the United States, that is disgusting. Those people are disgusting they're absolute trash (and so are you frankly).
As far as lecturing me like some sanctimonious little communist piece of shit, unlike you I live in the real world - this is a violent planet full of 7 billion serial killers. If this country destabilizes and it very well may, all we can do is train and arm, which fortunately I've been doing my entire life. You're misreading me completely and if you think that I'm some naive former progressive, I'm so far right that have printed portraits of the great generalissimos Franco and Pinochet printed in framed in my armory room. I don't even view communists as human beings. I don't believe in human rights. You can spare me your fake pearl clutching. You exist in a feminized cotton wool world of infantile notions and a need to believe in humanity. I can't relate.
That's hard to answer because Columbia is a massive mess at the moment. The university is in a LOT of trouble right now, perhaps more than people realize. I am just trying to maintain my sanity while there!
To whom you are attracted sexually is purely subjective and therefore cannot reasonably be contested by an outside observer.
Where you decide to live your life on a spectrum of superficial, stereotypical male to female attributes (and we all do) is also purely subjective and similarly cannot be questioned.
However, your biological sex reflects an objective reality which cannot be changed by your subjective personal view and futile attempts to do so can result in serious health impacts to you as well as harms to members of the sex you are impersonating (primarily women).
Others who are grounded in objective reality should never be forced to accept your subjective version of your actual biological sex.
Finally, it's past time for the LGB community to separate themselves from the trans activists who are trying to take away the rights of women to fairness in sports and to privacy and safety in their restrooms, locker rooms and prisons. They also advocate for the chemical and surgical mutilation of children many of whom would grow up gay.
Their actions are evil and the
understandable negative reaction to the harm they are causing is spilling over to innocent people who are just going about their business, marrying and leading their lives.
Oh, how RIGHT you are! EXTREMELY RIGHT most people would say! And how noble of you to encourage gays, lesbians and bisexuals---or "normal gay guys" as the blessed JD Vance calls them---to exclude, ostracize and demonize human beings who identify themselves as transexuals and queers! How sweet, insightful and deeply compassionate. I hope you teach your children to do the same because there is nothing as nurturing and character building as encouraging hatred and fear of "them"---whoever you decide belongs in that category! BRAVO! (Now get back to congratulating each other on how good you felt, reading this fearful, contradictory and self-pitying whine.)
I sense that a good number of people who joined the political migration rightward will begin to nudge back toward the left in the coming months. Having been firmly on the left for most of my adult life, I can confidently say that my aperture for what I value has widened and become more resolute here in the center-right. I teeter between that space and the left of center. Though I get your point entirely, it is possible to reject the dogma of progressivism while still embracing progressive ideals!
Well said. Just to clarify, I’ve always been and remain more to the left on economic issues. I’ve sometimes described myself as an unwoke social democrat.
Thank you for sharing your experience- I’m stunned to read what sounds like almost my exact experience. Specifically I began to question so much during BLM. I could go on but just know it helps to hear there is someone else having this same experience with Democrats.
This is a beautifully written piece, well reasoned and breathtakingly honest. I admire your bravery. It reassures me to know that there are smart and independent thinkers in a vast world of conformity.
I have been unfriended on FB for the most bigoted reasons, on their part. Gentle prodding is seen as heresy. Using the Socratic method is seen as heresy. You either wear the mantle that racism is the excuse for everything, or they pull out the guillotine. One guy posted that 'anyone who isn't on my side, get off my friends list' (there are many such types in my FB feed). How do they square that with their self-proclaimed tolerance? I knew, when I commented that actually, there is a difference between free speech and burning down buildings -- then offered my experience as a professor at a progressive NYC university, and that I teach international students who don't give a rat's ass about our politics, they just want to freely go to the classes they paid dearly for -- got me unfriended. What kind of person does this? NOT A LIBERAL ONE.
Many take umbrage with continuing to use the word 'liberal' to describe these people. They are bigots. Not liberals.
I find this very disheartening. As a gay millennial I never felt that I had to conform to the views of a putative “lgbt community”. Most of my friends are straight, and other than dating (and eventually marrying) a person of my own sex, I felt no different, nor was ever expected or pressured to assume any political views due to my sexual orientation. I always considered my ability to be accepted as “normal” to be the pinnacle of liberal American championing of gay rights and was grateful that I wasn’t born in an earlier generation. I also used to assume and hope that things would be even better for the younger generation. So I find it very sad and disheartening if gen z gays in a supposedly liberal place like columbia now limit themselves or are marginalized into a primarily “lgbt” social circle which forces on them certain dogma. That’s light years from my exprience and a huge setback if true.
I think you're right! I, too, am a millennial (35 years old). To be quite honest, this censorious trend made its mark in the 90s. However, it took a long time to get to this point. And yes, it is a dogma, for sure. Dissent is a high cost!
I am so sorry, Jennifer! I hear you. It makes you feel a little crazy initially, asking, "Is it me?" The truth is, it is ... insofar as you (me and others) have noticed something quite off.
Well written. Thank you for sharing this. I wish that it could be shared in our schools. Trying to get this message, to teenagers especially, is nearly impossible for the reasons that you've stated. But if it were presented from neutral ground and given as consideration, it could break through the barriers that prevent them from celebrating their autonomy. Regardless, I plan to share it with many people, young and old. Well done.
I agree! If we can get people to think for themselves, break down the logic, and arrive at their own conclusions, I think they’d find a lot of absurdity in their reasoning and conclusions. I appreciate you sharing this!
I generally agree! I think people go through phases in life where they feel more—or less—permission internally to not give a fuck. For me, it’s about telling the story and hoping it resonates with those who are petrified to speak up for themselves, or who just feel relieved knowing there are others out there who think and feel the same way.
It doesn’t necessarily require them to speak out, per se; rather, it’s about easing into that inner permission to feel good about their own thoughts.
What a beautifully written article Anthony. I am probably an atypical commenter here. I am a 71 year old conservative woman married to a man. But during the last 8 or so years, my business partner, friends, children and other relatives have decided that their “politics” were more important. More than classifying what I feel to my political or religious beliefs, I feel it is just plain common sense. I have no problem with who someone “loves”. I have a problem with exposing children to sex and making life altering changes to them. I questioned the Covid vaccine which I ended up getting so I could see my new grandson. Why was a criminal like George Floyd being lauded as some kind of hero? Why are so many young people anti semantic? Stand your ground. We all are entitled to our inalienable rights and in the end, you will not be alone. Those are not “your people”.
Thank you so much for this comment! We need a "reset button" for common sense!
This post cut me like a knife. I’m a gay moderate/leans conservative in Austin and I’ve recently been distancing myself (or found myself distanced by) from some of my more progressive friends. I used to be part of a regular dinner group but left after 1) one member sent me several heated messages over a NYTimes op-ed I shared 2) another member said I don’t care about gay Christians when I questioned the wisdom of a church hosting a drag show and 3) another member said I was engaging in censorship when I raised concerns about a church board member posting things like “Political violence is the most American of all values” after the first attempted Trump assassination.
I am so sorry you had to go through this, Ryan. The moral grandstanding is so toxic.
Welcome to the last decade, brother. It’s what I call, Mean Girls or “You can’t sit with us” politick. It’s based on moral grandstanding and cliquish exclusion.
And it’s not working.
I really enjoyed your “Mean Girls” post. I’ve seen so many of those dynamics firsthand
Thank you! Yes, it's popular with folks—no doubt for many of the same reasons this article resonates with them.
I always had friends in both ideological camps and as a Jew the post 10/7 reaction from those two groups was stunning. I realized how empty superficial and worthless my left leaning friends were. This sounds dramatic but I also realized how dangerous they are. I cut a ton of people loose and was pretty merciless in my approach. The funny thing is I don't miss them. I don't think about them, they were really quite out of sight out of mind. I didn't realize how superficial a lot of those relationships were and I didn't realize that I didn't actually have a very good understanding of how to differentiate between a quality relationship and one that wasn't really built on very much substance.
This certainly resonates with me!
I’m a secular , politically center left Jew and the Oct 7th attacks and downright ebullient reaction likewise convinced me that the Left, if ever empowered, could likewise be just as dangerous as the Far Right. The horse shoe theory of politics is a very real thing.
Agreed!
I'm not convinced that the far-right still exists in the United States. Due to my unusual hobby I have found myself in some extremely right-wing circles, in the belly of the so-called beast of the "Christian nationalist" movement which doesn't really exist but I'm fairly close to the inner circles of some of the central figures in this manufactured boogeyman called Christian nationalism. Not only do these people genuinely love Jews they're just very nice people. In fact I think they're too nice. Some of the people in my world are members of allegedly right wing groups like the Proud Boys. I'm not getting a whiff of dangerous racism. In fact one of our proud boys is Asian. The main proud boy out here who I suspect is in some kind of leadership role is just a very quality young man. He and his wife went out of their way to console me after 10/7 and to express how outraged they were as they watched the atrocities play out on TikTok - they bore witness for us. I came into the circles with a lot of the ridiculous programming that perhaps there would be some underbelly of dangerous white hate. None of it is true. I am so much more extreme than any of these so-called extremists. I think the way they have been besmirched is one of the greatest scams in US history.
Wow. No disrespect intended but you're either a troll, posing as some sort of quasi/former "progressive who has now seen the light" or you're living in some bizarre alternative reality. You REALLY believe the far-right nor Christian Nationalism doesn't exist in the US? It's telling that you apparently tipped your hand when you referred to "one of OUR proud boys" and how the "main proud boy out here"---where ARE YOU anyway?---"is just a quality young man."
So I guess the white supremacists and KKK thugs carrying torches clearly inspired by Nazi Brownshirts, loudly chanting "JEWS WILL NOT REPLACE US!" was "fake news" or was it just that they were "too nice" and just cosplaying for the fun of it, or simply woefully misunderstood by those mean, intolerant "leftists." Do you agree with the serial rapist and convicted felon---who has spewed a very long list of vile anti-Jewish comments over the years---that these were "very fine people" or will you just ignore this question?
Look. I come from a very conservative community and family. Among the most conservative members of that community you will find that anti-Jewish views are deeply embedded in the worldview of these folks. Yet, some of the more religious ones are living with constant cognitive dissonance, as they really dislike and resent Jews, but are acutely aware that their lord, Jesus Christ, was a Jew and that it's impossible to fully separate Judaism from Christianity. They bounce back and forth in unpredictable ways, hating "the Jews" but "loving" Israel and "good Jews" who are invariably political conservatives and TrumpSuckers.
But, a large reason why this "quality young man" who "is in some kind of leadership role" in this group of vile, violent vandals with real fears about their own masculinity and that you claim isn't part of the right-wing---which you also insist doesn't really exist---is because they, like many Christian Nationalists and White Supremacists---simply HATE "The Muslims" and "The Arabs" more than they hate "The Jews." And a lot of them have been pretty open about this, with some of the more vicious ones being open enough to admit that "after we get rid of the Arab and Muslim Terrorists we'll go after the Jews who control the media and Hollywood and government and the liberal colleges and the banks..."
If you REALLY believe that these people don't exist, and you allow yourself to be taken in by their surface "friendliness" you're not paying very close attention to reality. I'm quite certain that there must have been, in the Germany of the 1930's, some Jews who had found what seemed like warmth and acceptance from enthusiastic Hitler supporters and allowed those exceedingly rare experiences to blind them to the reality unfolding around them.
Yes, unfortunately, there IS anti-Semitism in some number of "leftists" but painting anyone who disagrees with the current government in Israel and their specific policy choices as "anti-Jewish" is both inaccurate and shamefully mendacious. Would that apply to the many Jewish students---and citizens of Israel---who oppose the current government and policies of Israel as well?
Making excuses, or rationalizations for extremist right-wingers is dangerous and deceptive. And denying that they even exist is absolutely delusional; in fact, most of THEM would deny that and even take great offense at you making such a ridiculous claim.
Despite the current state of things, I am confident that We The Majority of Americans, who see Trump and his most rabid, violent, hateful followers for what they clearly are, will stop him and his neo-Nazi co-president Musk, before they can destroy what is fundamentally a very good and decent nation---the United States of America. I would hope that even those who consider themselves true conservatives or "right leaning" will be cognizant enough and realistic enough to be a part of this growing Majority Coalition, dedicated to the protection, preservation and defense of our Constitutional Republic and the practice of Democracy.
Got to be honest I gave that a skim and didn't read it deeply but I will shoot back a few comments - The people who marched in Charlottesville chanting Jews will not replace us have a point. Great replacement theory is no longer a conspiracy theory, Democrat operatives including Jews like Chuck Schumer have openly said that that is their plan. As for some communist little faggot like you throwing "Jewish voices for Palestine" groups around as cover for the rampant galloping anti-Semitism that pretty much characterizes 100% of the DNC in the United States, that is disgusting. Those people are disgusting they're absolute trash (and so are you frankly).
As far as lecturing me like some sanctimonious little communist piece of shit, unlike you I live in the real world - this is a violent planet full of 7 billion serial killers. If this country destabilizes and it very well may, all we can do is train and arm, which fortunately I've been doing my entire life. You're misreading me completely and if you think that I'm some naive former progressive, I'm so far right that have printed portraits of the great generalissimos Franco and Pinochet printed in framed in my armory room. I don't even view communists as human beings. I don't believe in human rights. You can spare me your fake pearl clutching. You exist in a feminized cotton wool world of infantile notions and a need to believe in humanity. I can't relate.
Exactly. You’re just what I expected. Thanks for the confirmation.
You're a "white guy for Harris" 🤣
With Columbia in the self imposed spotlight, how does this sanity-shift reflect on the university?
That's hard to answer because Columbia is a massive mess at the moment. The university is in a LOT of trouble right now, perhaps more than people realize. I am just trying to maintain my sanity while there!
You could take advantage of your proximity and explain what is actually happening. From your point of view.
From the outside in, it appears to be an implosion. Self inflicted.
To whom you are attracted sexually is purely subjective and therefore cannot reasonably be contested by an outside observer.
Where you decide to live your life on a spectrum of superficial, stereotypical male to female attributes (and we all do) is also purely subjective and similarly cannot be questioned.
However, your biological sex reflects an objective reality which cannot be changed by your subjective personal view and futile attempts to do so can result in serious health impacts to you as well as harms to members of the sex you are impersonating (primarily women).
Others who are grounded in objective reality should never be forced to accept your subjective version of your actual biological sex.
Finally, it's past time for the LGB community to separate themselves from the trans activists who are trying to take away the rights of women to fairness in sports and to privacy and safety in their restrooms, locker rooms and prisons. They also advocate for the chemical and surgical mutilation of children many of whom would grow up gay.
Their actions are evil and the
understandable negative reaction to the harm they are causing is spilling over to innocent people who are just going about their business, marrying and leading their lives.
Yeah, I couldn't agree more. Unfortunately, the bad actors use compassion as a disguise.
Oh, how RIGHT you are! EXTREMELY RIGHT most people would say! And how noble of you to encourage gays, lesbians and bisexuals---or "normal gay guys" as the blessed JD Vance calls them---to exclude, ostracize and demonize human beings who identify themselves as transexuals and queers! How sweet, insightful and deeply compassionate. I hope you teach your children to do the same because there is nothing as nurturing and character building as encouraging hatred and fear of "them"---whoever you decide belongs in that category! BRAVO! (Now get back to congratulating each other on how good you felt, reading this fearful, contradictory and self-pitying whine.)
I’m living, breathing proof that you can be genuinely repelled by the woke/cultural Left without moving Rightward in inch. Feels perfectly fine to me.
I sense that a good number of people who joined the political migration rightward will begin to nudge back toward the left in the coming months. Having been firmly on the left for most of my adult life, I can confidently say that my aperture for what I value has widened and become more resolute here in the center-right. I teeter between that space and the left of center. Though I get your point entirely, it is possible to reject the dogma of progressivism while still embracing progressive ideals!
Well said. Just to clarify, I’ve always been and remain more to the left on economic issues. I’ve sometimes described myself as an unwoke social democrat.
Thank you for sharing your experience- I’m stunned to read what sounds like almost my exact experience. Specifically I began to question so much during BLM. I could go on but just know it helps to hear there is someone else having this same experience with Democrats.
I hope you share your experience sometime! It's something to have lived through these events.
This is a beautifully written piece, well reasoned and breathtakingly honest. I admire your bravery. It reassures me to know that there are smart and independent thinkers in a vast world of conformity.
Thank you so much, Yael! I hope it inspires others to feel good about thinking freely and expressing their views.
I have been unfriended on FB for the most bigoted reasons, on their part. Gentle prodding is seen as heresy. Using the Socratic method is seen as heresy. You either wear the mantle that racism is the excuse for everything, or they pull out the guillotine. One guy posted that 'anyone who isn't on my side, get off my friends list' (there are many such types in my FB feed). How do they square that with their self-proclaimed tolerance? I knew, when I commented that actually, there is a difference between free speech and burning down buildings -- then offered my experience as a professor at a progressive NYC university, and that I teach international students who don't give a rat's ass about our politics, they just want to freely go to the classes they paid dearly for -- got me unfriended. What kind of person does this? NOT A LIBERAL ONE.
Many take umbrage with continuing to use the word 'liberal' to describe these people. They are bigots. Not liberals.
I know precisely this feeling. I had to deactivate my Facebook account. I haven't looked back. I am sorry it happened to you as well. We aren't alone!
We should all be so fortunate to emerge from our experiences with this level of insight and confidence.
Peter, thank you so much! I always appreciate you—your feedback as well as your kind words :-)
I find this very disheartening. As a gay millennial I never felt that I had to conform to the views of a putative “lgbt community”. Most of my friends are straight, and other than dating (and eventually marrying) a person of my own sex, I felt no different, nor was ever expected or pressured to assume any political views due to my sexual orientation. I always considered my ability to be accepted as “normal” to be the pinnacle of liberal American championing of gay rights and was grateful that I wasn’t born in an earlier generation. I also used to assume and hope that things would be even better for the younger generation. So I find it very sad and disheartening if gen z gays in a supposedly liberal place like columbia now limit themselves or are marginalized into a primarily “lgbt” social circle which forces on them certain dogma. That’s light years from my exprience and a huge setback if true.
I think you're right! I, too, am a millennial (35 years old). To be quite honest, this censorious trend made its mark in the 90s. However, it took a long time to get to this point. And yes, it is a dogma, for sure. Dissent is a high cost!
You are not alone!!
:-)
This was timely, I have been struggling with being left by the left
I am so sorry, Jennifer! I hear you. It makes you feel a little crazy initially, asking, "Is it me?" The truth is, it is ... insofar as you (me and others) have noticed something quite off.
Well written. Thank you for sharing this. I wish that it could be shared in our schools. Trying to get this message, to teenagers especially, is nearly impossible for the reasons that you've stated. But if it were presented from neutral ground and given as consideration, it could break through the barriers that prevent them from celebrating their autonomy. Regardless, I plan to share it with many people, young and old. Well done.
I agree! If we can get people to think for themselves, break down the logic, and arrive at their own conclusions, I think they’d find a lot of absurdity in their reasoning and conclusions. I appreciate you sharing this!
@Anthony Rispo
I discovered that being 98% full of don't-give-a-fucks works very well in dealing with the various narratives that I endure.
You might want to try not giving a fuck and seeing how that works for you.
I generally agree! I think people go through phases in life where they feel more—or less—permission internally to not give a fuck. For me, it’s about telling the story and hoping it resonates with those who are petrified to speak up for themselves, or who just feel relieved knowing there are others out there who think and feel the same way.
It doesn’t necessarily require them to speak out, per se; rather, it’s about easing into that inner permission to feel good about their own thoughts.