Summer News Roundup: How to Get Away With Occupying Hamilton Hall
Just promise me you won’t do it again, okay?
The following was published as part of Sundial’s Summer 2024 News Roundup, a collection of humorous takes on the news you missed.
→ Just promise me you won’t do it again, okay?
Nearly all of the Columbia affiliates arrested in April for occupying Hamilton Hall had their criminal charges dropped by the Manhattan district attorney over the summer.
On June 20, more than seventy supporters of the protestors, including students, faculty, and community members, filed into a Manhattan courthouse, donning keffiyehs, masks, and custom-made “Hind’s Hall” crop tops—the look of the summer.
Within 40 minutes, the students were on their way—the district attorney’s office had announced they were dropping charges against 31 of the 46 protestors initially arrested for storming Hamilton Hall in the early hours of April 30 with hammers, zip ties, and bike locks.
“We were unable to establish that these defendants caused property damage or bodily harm,” Assistant District Attorney Stephen Millan told the judge, citing a lack of identifying evidence for charges beyond misdemeanor trespassing. Honestly, it’s a pretty good playbook for getting away with something just a little bit illegal—put on your KN-95 (pretend it’s 2020), grab a couple of hammers from University Hardware (they even accept Flex!), smash all the security cameras, and you’ll be well on your merry way to scot-free chaos. It’s like something out of the Wild West—as long as your face is covered, you’re a cool and mysterious outlaw.
Lester Wilson, one of the janitors in Hamilton the night of the occupation, told The Free Press that the dismissals were “wrong.”
“Somebody should be charged. Somebody should be held accountable. I’m not saying jail time, but not dismissed. You should be found guilty,” Wilson said. “We as the workers, y’all violated us.”
While the 31 individuals who had their charges outright dismissed were active students or employees, thirteen others (some of whom were suspended students at the time of arrest) were offered adjournment in contemplation of dismissal, a deal where their charges would be dismissed if they refrained from further criminal conduct.
However, those individuals initially rejected the offer. Columbia University Apartheid Divest (CUAD) claimed on the morning of the hearing that the offers were “the state’s attempts to divide the movement along the lines of ‘legitimate’ and ‘illegitimate’ protest.” However, it seems that the “state’s attempts” won out, as those 13 accepted the deals about a month later.
Another individual involved in the occupation, a 41-year-old millionaire named James Carlson, who the NYPD once called a “long-time anarchist,” was also charged with arson (for lighting an Israeli flag on fire) and criminal mischief (for destroying an NYPD security camera while in custody post-occupation), charges that were both later dropped. Truly an inspiration for us all. One day, he too will be invited to speak at Q House for the n-th annual “Resistance 101” event to discuss how burning Israeli flags at American universities will further the global pursuit of a Free Palestine.
Columbia has separately pursued disciplinary action against those who participated in the occupation and other unauthorized protest activity in April. While the University announced that those who occupied Hamilton would “face expulsion,” it’s clear that’s no longer the case. Eighteen of the 22 students arrested for the occupation remain in good standing, according to information released by the House Committee on Education and the Workforce on August 19.
Immediately after the June 20 hearing, CUAD held a press conference outside the courthouse. An individual who identified himself as “Mickey Mouse” (not making this up) told the press, “We stand in full support of any and all efforts to liberate oppressed people everywhere, by any means necessary.” Perhaps he was referencing Tomorrow’s Pioneers, a children’s show that was broadcast on Hamas-affiliated TV and hosted by a Mickey Mouse-like character named Farfour (Season 1 Episode 4: Farfour is caught cheating. “Why did you cheat?” “Because the Jews destroyed our home”).
Too bad he wasn’t wearing a matching costume—Mickey ears x People’s University hoodie x keffiyeh headdress would’ve gone hard, and Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei would’ve been even prouder than he already is.
“Just as we refuse to condemn the Palestinian resistance, we refuse to condemn direct action in the United States,” he added.
Mr. Du is the editor-in-chief of Sundial and a senior studying political science and economics. Follow him on X @jonasydu
Anyone who has the means should find and publish the names of all these deranged terrorists-in-waiting to be sure they are never hired by anyone.